Sex and Sun Signs

Sex and Sun Signs

By Mitesh   16:50   No comments:

Sex is really important to keep your relationship sailing smooth forever. It is not just about physical pleasure but by giving in, you are expressing 'trust' that you have in your mate. It reflects affection, care, love and a feeling that you are wanted. If your sex life has gone for a toss, you have to work on it before your relationship is hit hard. In fact, sex has the power to put an end to conflicts in your relationship. So, discover your partners' passion points through their sun sign and keep the magic in your relationship alive.

Aries:
When your lover is Aries, sex is best if it's spontaneous and unrestricted. Their heads are erogenous zones-they love it when you mess up their hair and grab their face when they are making love. They are especially aroused by their partner's sexual organs.

Taurus:
When your lover is Taurus, the sexual nature involves all of the senses. Touch and smell are supremely important to these lovers. These lovers don't have a reputation for spontaneity or variety, but they are good at what they do nonetheless.

Gemini:
When your lover is Gemini, use words in bed with them. Talk turns them on, and they love to kiss! Oral pleasures are extra special for these lovers. They love role-playing, as long as it is varied.

Cancer:
When your lover is Cancer, you'll get one of the most sensitive and sweet lovers. They are turned on by slave scenarios, and they may like it when you're a little mean and aggressive in bed, as long as they know you love them.

Leo:
When your lover is Leo, the fantasies often revolve around devotion and attention. These people are most turned on when their partner thinks they are gods or goddesses. They can sometimes come on too strong, and get impatient when their needs are not met soon enough.

Virgo:
When your lover is Virgo, there is generally a healthy attitude towards sex. Simple and sweet is the way they like their bed partners. They can be a little insecure about their own bodies, and they make up for it by paying close attention to their methods of turning you on.

Libra:
When your lover is Libra, extra care is taken to please the partner. They love working on getting things right, and are especially turned on by role-playing sex games. They are givers in bed, but they fully expect you to give equally in return.

Scorpio:
When your lover is Scorpio, the sexual nature can be quite complex. These lovers are willing to do almost anything, and they enjoy full-body pleasures. The most passionate of all signs, Scorpios are known to have sex always on their mind.

Sagittarius:
When your lover is Sagittarius, sex is treated rather like a sport. Laughing and rough-housing are huge turn-ons. The best way to approach sex with these people is to just do it.

Capricorn:
When your lover is Capricorn, sex that is straightforward and simple is generally best. They can be quite happy with consistency, as variety is less important to them than is security in sexual expression. Do not expect any creative or zany positions, but expect it to be good.

Aquarius:
When your lover is Aquarius, there is a 'take it or leave it' style that can be sexy or maddening, depending on the audience. Sex from a distance, like cyber or phone sex, or affairs that don't break up marriages, can be especially attractive to these folks.

Pisces:
When your lover is Pisces, a subtle approach to flirting and sex is taken on. In general, they prefer non-verbal expressions of love and are attracted to imbalance. Self-sacrifice, compassion, and even religion can be mixed into their sexual expression.

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Men and women are from the same planet

Men and women are from the same planet

By Mitesh   13:29   No comments:

Men want sex & women want love. Women chat more while men like to brood. So how do these creatures from Mars and Venus overcome their differences, to become Earthlings. Experts and some new studies tell us how…



MEN are from Mars and women are from Venus but the twain shall always meet. They meet on Earth of course.

It’s another thing that there’s a lot of struggle that preludes this much-anticipated meeting — there are bottlenecks, traffic jams and speed breakers in this journey. And the main culprit seems to be the ‘wiring’ of their brains.

A recent Swedish research for instance says that women are moodier than men and are prone to depression – once again restating the fact that the two genders have a different brain wiring. Researches time and again have said that men and women are wired differently. But there’s something more than just the wiring.

Six Foods to Help you Have Great Sex
Behavioural experts say it is not just the wiring that causes the ‘differences’ (pun intended). "More than genetic make-up, it's their social conditioning that is responsible for the way they behave,” says psychologist Anu Goel.

Genetic make-up ensures their brains function differently and their hormones seem to pull them in separate ways. And social conditioning makes the differences starker.

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LOVE VS SEX

THE LOVE versus sex debate has been going on since time immemorial. Scientists have blamed a larger hypothalamus (the sex centre of brain) in men that forces them to think about sex 25 hours a day. And we women believe them readily. We take pride in the fact that we are more emotional and sensitive.

It all goes back to the caveman era. “Over the years women developed more caring abilities. They learnt from their mothers to be more nurturing, emotional and sensitive. That’s why they look for love to get intimate with any man,” says Dr Gitanjali Sharma, Delhi-based family and marriage counsellor.

And traditionally... after all that hunting, the only thing man learned to get intimate was through sex.

“The idea of intimacy in both the genders has been different. While women look for a long term commitment, men are quite happy with a fling,” says psychologist Dr Nisha Khanna.

But the traditional gender roles have been changing over a period of time. “There are women who are predatory too now. Otherwise it has always been the man who believes in first getting into a woman’s pants and then into her head,” says adman Prahlad Kakkar.

And now, there’s in fact new research that challenges the caveman theory. Scientists at Oxford University studied 19 pre-historic humans and found that only one in ten males moved out of the cave to look for food. It was the woman of the cave, who moved out to hunt for the family.

Maybe this particular group of pre-historic humans had men who were particularly lazy, but that just proves one thing — women might have been great multi-taskers even in the Neanderthal era.

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CHIT CHAT

MEN AND women approach a problem in different ways. “So when they have a fight, a woman picks up her phone and calls her gal pals to vent her emotions, while the man sits in front of the TV and switches channels,” says Pooja Bedi. "Women are more communicative, and men love to brood,” she adds.

A study published by the New Scientist magazine found that female macaques (the next best thing to humans, the scientists could find for their experiments) were more chatty and friendly. They made more friendly noises than the males, who preferred to play the angry young man.

They also found that men liked to gossip while playing football or while sitting in a bar. But women just liked to be together.

They are more emotionally literate and have a higher EQ.

"Men are conditioned in a way that they should be less communicative. But through communication, woman forms emotional bonds,” says Sharma.

In the book, The Female Brain, by Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, the author says that women talk three times more than men.

The book claims that the brains of a man and a woman function differently. On an average, a woman blurts out about 20,000 words a day ascompared with 7,000 for theaverage man.

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WORKING WITH TEN ARMS

CONTRARY to most theories, Kakkar speaks in defence of his tribe and says that it’s not true that men cannot multi-task. "They just have the privilege of not to multi-task,” he says. He adds that it is the woman who has been multi-tasking for ages. A woman has the ability to bring in some amount if sophistication to whatever she does,” he says.

Last year a University of Hertfordshire study found that women were capable of performing a number of simple tasks like searching for a key and solving easy maths problems simultaneously.

Psychologists agree with the study. They say that men think in compartments.

“Their brain has different compartments for different tasks and when a man exits one compartment, he’s completely out it. For example, if he is at home playing with his kids, and he gets a call from office, he will leave whatever he is doing and attend the call. He can’t carry out both the things simultaneously,” says Sharma.

Women, on the other hand transform into the ten-armed goddess while balancing home and work – something that men will hopefully learn slowly.

FEELING BLUE?

WOMEN talk more, so does that mean that men will always have to put up with the taunts women throw at them when they get moody?

The Swedish study mentioned above says that women are prone to mood swings, anxiety and depression due to low levels of serotonin or ‘happy hormones’.

"There are other social factors too, that make women more susceptible to depression. It again stems from the fact that women are more emotional. Also a woman’s monthly menstrual cycle plays a major role in a woman’s behaviour,” says Sharma.

Sudden emotional outbursts can leave some unsuspecting men flummoxed. Filmmaker Zoya Akhtar was heard saying once: “If I am the director, it’s my party. I will cry if I want to. I will be in all my hormonal glory. I’m not going to be embarrassed by it. As a man, you have chosen to be part of my set, so you handle it, boy.”

Men have somehow learnt the art of handling a moody woman. But he still has a long way to go especially while dealing with a moody female boss. “If it is a male boss, you can argue and set things right. But with a female boss you really have think before you open your mouth,” says IT professional Sumit Verma.

It is difficult to win an argument with a woman because she is a better communicator.

BLURRING THE LINE

But aren’t these little differences responsible for running the world? Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship counsellor at Purple Alley sums it up: “Men and women were made differently so that they could learn from each other. This is the essence of life.

A woman can learn to be more practical and logical from a man. And a man learns to be more emotional and sensitive from a woman.” And that’s how both can evolve together.

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Valentine’s Day myths busted

Valentine’s Day myths busted

By Mitesh   18:41   No comments:

Think you can score some points with your girl on Valentine’s Day by gifting her chocolates, flowers or cheesy presents? Well, you can’t be more wrong, for these are some of the myths that have been busted by a website.

AskMen.com offered a quick review of some of the long-held beliefs associated with the day.

The site recommends a little bit of originality, foresight and planning can help make February 14 extra special.

Myth No. 1: It’s OK to skip Valentine’s Day

Why this is false: She might realize that it’s a hyped-up holiday, but that won’t get you off the hook completely. She’ll see her friends going on dates and wonder why you aren’t stepping up to the plate.

What to do instead: You can keep Valentine’s Day low-key and celebrate it in your own way. Plan an activity that you both enjoy and declare it your own celebration – like ice skating or hiking. Any activity that you do together will show her that you gave the day some thought.

Myth No. 2: You have to celebrate on February 14th

Why this is false: No one says you have to celebrate on the same day as everyone else – that’s so conventional.

What to do instead: Pick another day in the week to plan your date and declare that day your own personal Valentine’s Day. Places will be less crowded and you won’t be made to feel like another sheep in the crowd. She won’t care when you celebrate as long as she sees you’ve put some thought into it. She may even appreciate mixing it up.

You’re saving money for a vacation together, so it’s OK to skip Valentine’s Day

Why this is false: Even though she agreed to save money too, this is a perfect opportunity to win brownie points with her.What to do instead: Don’t plan an expensive date, but do surprise her with an inexpensive (but thoughtful) activity. Plan to meet her for lunch and pack her favorite food in a picnic basket. She’ll be impressed that you stuck to a budget while still making her feel special.

Myth No. 4: You’ve only been dating for a few months, so you won’t celebrate

Why this is false: While you might not want to do anything overly romantic with a new girlfriend, that doesn’t mean you have to ignore it. If you don’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day at all, she might wonder if you are really interested in her.What to do instead: Don’t plan anything romantic. Instead, think of a fun activity. Try scheduling in a dance class or a cooking class to mix things up. Or, take her to see a comedy show – anything to get the two of you laughing together.

Myth No. 5: Dinner is a Valentine’s Day staple

Why this is false: Dinner is an adequate Valentine’s Day plan, and I suppose you can’t go wrong with it. However, truth be told, it’s a little unoriginal.

What to do instead: Mix things up a bit. With as much effort as it takes to make dinner reservations, you can plan a date that is seeping with originality. Try a couple’s massage, jump into a hot tub (anything in a Jacuzzi is sexy), look for an old-fashioned roller-skating rink in your city, or try an artsy date by going to a museum or checking out a jazz show.

Myth No. 6: Chocolates or flowers are good Valentine’s Day gifts

Why this is false: Just like going out for dinner, chocolate and flowers are not the wrong thing to do – they’re just overly conventional.

What to do instead: Originality is worth a lot on Valentine’s Day, especially when all of her friends will be getting the usual flowers and chocolates. Stand out by getting her something out of the ordinary. Does she like to travel? Get her a subscription to a travel magazine. Does she like music? Get her concert tickets.

Myth No. 7: You need to spend loads of money on her gift

Why this is false: It’s the thought that really counts the most when it comes to Valentine’s Day.

What to do instead: Try getting her a small gift with a lot of meaning. If you are just starting to get serious, for example, buy her a pair of slippers or a robe to keep in your apartment.

Myth No. 8: Don’t expect a gift in return

Why this is false: While Valentine’s Day is usually marketed as “her” holiday, there’s no rule stating she can’t surprise you with a little something. So, chances are very good that you’ll get your box of candy.

What to do instead: If the whole guessing game about whether you’re getting a gift or not is bugging you, approach the subject of a “no gift” idea with her and make plans together for a romantic weekend getaway or a perfect night out instead.

Myth No. 9: The gift has to be cheesy or romantic

Why this is false: Just the opposite, actually. There is no rule that says you have to write her poems or sing her a song on Valentine’s Day.

What to do instead: If you’re not comfortable with the cheesiness, forget it. Just stick to getting her a fun gift. Try buying a good board game or a cool CD – then go home and play it together.

Myth No. 10: Lingerie makes a good Valentine’s Day gift

Why this is false: Actually, this myth is not entirely false. Lingerie can be a nice part of a gift for a self-assured woman, bearing in mind that you need to know her size and style preferences. But usually, she’ll like that to be part of a sexy gift – not all of it.

What to do instead: For a really sexy gift, try buying a book on massage techniques that you can learn together or – if you are good and ready for it – a copy of the Kama Sutra. (ANI)

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How to Get Over an Online Breakup

How to Get Over an Online Breakup

By Mitesh   11:49   No comments:

For weeks, the two of you may have been inseparable when you were online. Several hours passed by talking and playing online games. For those of us who are constantly online due to work, an online love seems like the perfect way to have a relationship. Other times, love just finds you while you are surfing the web. Regardless of how it began, each person must have his needs met if the relationship is to succeed. Sometimes, you find that it is best to end the relationship. Once we choose to walk away from our cyber romance we are left to deal with the constant reminder of our online relationship.

Instructions:

1.Delete his contact information. Once the ending of the relationship is final, delete his email address and his Instant Messenger address.

2.Erase all Instant Messenger archives. Women are sentimental in nature, and technology makes it even easier to save past conversations. As tempting as it is to keep sweet E-cards or emails, don’t do it. If you can’t find the heart to delete them, then store them in a folder.

3.Create a new account. If you played online role-playing games, then make a new account. It isn’t necessary that you stop playing a favorite game.

4.Chat with other people online. Get to know other people that have the same interests as you do. The Internet is massive and your online ex is not the only person whom you will form a connection with.

5.Use a different messenger program. Until the raw pain of a broken heart wears off, switch to another messenger program. For example, if you use Yahoo messenger, try using Windows live.

6.Place photographs in a folder. Most of us like to save pictures of our exes. Save all of her pictures in a folder that is out of your reach.

7.Delete your ex from your Myspace or Facebook account. Nothing is more painful than having constant updates on an ex. This applies to offline relationships as well as online ones.

8.Limit your time online, if possible. If your job does not require using a computer, try to stay offline as much as you can. Those that have to use a computer daily may find this difficult.

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9 things you should never assume at work

9 things you should never assume at work

By Mitesh   10:55   No comments:

New York, Jan 25 (ANI): Do you feel that all your colleagues are friends? Or that your life is all about your job? You could be wrong.

We often make bad assumptions and then become disappointed when situations don't work out.

My job completes me - It's not your whole life, avoid the Work, Sleep, Repeat cycle or else your sense of self will erode any time your job disappoints you, reports the New York Daily News.

Your Money columnist Carolyn Kepcher, author of the best-selling book 'Carolyn 101,' tells you the top nine areas in which it's important to maintain a healthy sense of reality:

My boss reads my mind - Lobby for your promotion and take the initiative of talking to your boss about it. Many workers make the mistake of not engaging in any self-promotion at all - and then suffer the crushing disappointment of not receiving a pay raise, or a promotion.

Co-workers are friends - Although you may find friends at work, it's very important to draw boundaries. Unlike friendships or romances gone awry, you have no choice but to see your co-workers every single workday.

Salaries are set fairly - It's your responsibility to negotiate for a higher salary. Employers will pay what they feel they need to pay to hire and keep an employee, and nothing more.

H.R. is here to help me - They will help you, but their true job is to protect the organization. There are certain areas in which it may be best not to seek the H.R. department's assistance, such as using them as a shoulder to cry on for your every workplace woe.

You aren't indispensable - Millions of workers learned that their jobs are not as secure as they once thought. Being valuable is realistic, feeling irreplaceable is not.

My personal life is my business - only as long as something that reflects poorly upon your employer. For example, you're probably not free to bad-mouth them on Facebook. Even if you do not face disciplinary action, your future career will take a hit.

I'll sue - Don't be naive. Filing a lawsuit alone takes a lot of money. Even if you are right, sometimes your only decision is whether to stay or to go. Righting wrongs can be a very costly mission.

My bosses are cool when i slack off - Do not take your job for granted. While you're accepting their pay, it's important to honour your end of the bargain, or expect them to reward your poor attitude by bestowing your job to someone who actually wants it. (ANI)

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why windows takes so long to start up ?

why windows takes so long to start up ?

By Mitesh   09:58   2 comments:

Most of us have had a brand new computer at one time. It's a great feeling. You boot up windows and within 30 seconds you are surfing the net, checking your email, or playing your favorite game. 10 months down the road things aren't so nice anymore. You power up your computer and it seems to take forever to load.

Even when you are careful about what you install it seems that each day it takes longer for it to boot. It's not your imagination - and there are a couple of good tips to keep your boot time short and sweet.

As always - backup your system before you start any of this. If you make a mistake you might need to restore from backup

Update (09/08/2006) - There has been some controversy about the prefetch folder. I think this issue needs to be looked into. I did have a reputable source for this information: It was the "Windows XP Annoyances" book by O'Reilly. Page 210. Titled "Keeping an eye on prefetch"

1. The prefetch cache

The first tip I want to talk about is the windows prefetch. Windows XP has this feature that loads commonly used programs - at boot time.

Here is how it works: Yesterday you used MS Word, and Duke Nukem 3D. Today you boot your system to check e-mail. It sees parts of these two programs in the prefetch folder and loads them into memory before windows completes the boot process. The benefit is faster application launch times. If you really wanted to use MS Word, it would pop up really quick when you double clicked on it.

The problem is most people have been running windows for years, and the prefetch gets clogged with stuff that you almost never use. Windows takes forever to boot because it is prefetching a 1.0 copy of Napster, and you just want to check your email before you have to go to work.

What can be done about it? Well there are a few things we can do to tweak the prefetch cache. One method is to disable it partially, and this can be done quite easily.

Simply browse to the windows folder (Ex: C:\Windows) and under there you should see the prefetch folder. Go into the prefetch folder and delete all the files (Careful! It should look like this c:\windows\prefetch) And here is a screenshot of one if you still have questions

The first thing to note is the next reboot will be slow. This is because windows needs to relearn the prefetch for system files. Subsequent boots will run much faster since the sludge of programs has been removed, and only new ones are in the cache.

The trouble is that it will only help you for a while - until the prefetch gets clogged up again. We need to edit a registry key to tweak it. Open regedit and browse to this key:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Session Manager\Memory Management\PrefetchParameters

Under this key you should see a value named: EnablePrefetcher

It has 4 possible values:

0 - Disabled : The prefetch system is turned off.

1 - Application : The prefetch only caches applications.

2 - Boot : The prefetch only caches boot system files.

3 - All : The prefetch caches boot, and application files.

We don't want to disable it entirely. This would actually make boot times *longer*. This is because this feature is also used to speed up the loading of boot files. That is why we are going to pick the number 2 option. It allows us to keep the advantage of caching system files, without continually clogging the system up with applications.

Set the value to 2 and reboot.

The 2nd time you boot it should boot much faster. Remember that the side effect is that launching individual applications once windows has loaded will now be slightly slower.

2. Hard drive fragmentation

Over time your hard drive will become fragmented. An over simplified explanation of fragmentation is when your files and folders are not all stored in the same spot. For example lets say you had a large movie file. If it were fragmented the first 5 megabytes are at the beginning of the hard drive, and then next 5 are at the end. It takes longer for windows to read the file than it would if it were all in the same spot. The point is that if each file is stored in a linear fashion, and the drive does not have to move all over the place to read it - it will load faster. XP has a built-in defrag tool, and it is simple to run. Open "My Computer" right click on the boot drive, and go to properties. Now click on the tools tab.

Click "Defragment Now" and the following window should appear:


Before you click on the "Defragment" button you want to close all applications and be aware that it might take hours to complete. If you leave something running it might keep windows from completing the defragment operation.

Click on the defragment button and you can walk away. Or you can watch it defrag your hard drive:

3. Disconnected network drives

I am using networked drives all the time. If you have ever put your machine on a network and connected to a shared drive, this can slow you down too. If you have a drive that is still mapped, but cannot be reached it will slow down windows during boot time. This is because windows will wait...wait...and wait some more for the remote server to respond. To clean these out open "My Computer" and go to the tools menu. Click on "Disconnect Network Drives" It will open a window that looks like this:


Click on the drives you no longer need, and click OK.

4. Spyware & Adware

These can have a big impact on your start times. If your PC gets loaded with spyware, it spends a large portion of its boot time making sure those pesky programs are loaded and ready to throw popup adverts at you all day. To check and clean your system of spyware there are three free programs that I highly recommend:

1. Microsoft Windows Defender

2. Ad-Aware

3. SpyBot Search And destroy

5. File and Printer Sharing

One other item that can significantly impact is the "File and Printer Sharing" feature within windows. Obviously, if you are sharing your printer, or folders you don't want to disable this - so this tip is not for you. If you never use it, then why waste your time waiting for it to load?

Here is how to turn it off:

Go into the control panel. Click on "Network Connections"



Now right click on "Local Area Connection" and click on properties

Uncheck the "File and Printer Sharing for Microsoft Networks"

Click OK, and reboot.

That wraps up our windows startup optimization. And if you are tired of waiting for windows to shutdown, then check out our article on speeding that up too!

Stay tuned. We are about to release a new version of our Remote Reboot program. This version adds a feature suggested by David in our forum. It allows you to specify the shutdown reason that is written to the event log on Windows XP, and 2003. If you are not sure what I am talking about...this should remind you:

One final note, if you have any ideas for a free utility you would like to see, please put you comments on this.

courtesy : intelliadmin.com

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Top ten relationship wreckers

Top ten relationship wreckers

By Mitesh   18:10   No comments:

Jealousy, money, the need for space and excessive use of the Internet are just a few things that can cause relationship
10 relationship wreckers strife.

Relationships are changing faster than ever before — and so are the triggers for break-ups. New issues not even dreamt about 20 years ago, such as chatroom romances and online pornography, have risen to prominence. Here is the authoritative guide to what’s going up and what’s going down in the argument charts — and how to stop your relationship being derailed:

1. Low expectations
We expect relationships to fail. The “all men are jerks” mind set and “all women are bunny boilers” mentality has spread from being a joke with our mates into a self-fulfilling prophecy. We wait for our new boyfriend or girlfriend to trip up and then zoom in on their mistakes. Today’s couples think they are being realistic, but often this is just cynicism in disguise. Twenty years ago, couples saw marriage as an end in itself and were prepared to compromise to sustain their relationship. Therefore, they were more trusting and ready to give their partner the benefit of the doubt.
Solve it:
When people ask how many of my clients’ relationships are beyond help, my answer always surprises them: less than five percent. I believe that we make fundamentally good choices. So why so much divorce and misery? Everybody’s childhood leaves them with relationship dilemmas inherited from watching their parents’ marriage. It might be ‘not showing feelings’, ‘how to cope with unfaithfulness’ ‘temper tantrums’ or ‘attitudes to loss’ — the list in endless. We are drawn to people not just because of their great sense of humour or looks, as we imagine, but because they have similar problems to our own.


2. Work/life balance
Today we are working longer hours, doing more shift work, commuting further and therefore spending less time together than twenty years ago. When we’re tired, communication is cut down to the bare essentials (‘What time will you be back?’) as you cross paths in the kitchen. Although this shorthand is very efficient, there is no time to explain the complexity of our feelings. Into the gap leap all sorts of assumptions and misunderstandings. For example Rahul, a forty year-old chartered accountant, did not realise the importance of attending his partner’s company social. He did not understand why she was so huffy the next morning and just put the atmosphere down to a hangover but was in too much of a hurry to ask. In the past, couples would stay up half the night fighting, and probably solve the argument; today they are too aware of that early meeting to want to waste precious sleep time. Instead we complain that our partner never listens.
Solve it:
Invest in your relationship by setting aside ‘sacred time’ that belongs to just the two of you. For example: make Thursday night your date night — even if you can’t go out, spend the time talking, listening to music or making love. Many couples in therapy find they benefit most from the concentrated, quality time they spend together, rather than the counselling. Secondly, don’t make assumptions but check out your hunches.

3. Jealousy
Stories of celebrity infidelity and the divorces of supposedly ideal couples (like Jennifer and Brad) reinforce just how many people stray. Twenty years ago, we had a much clearer idea of right and wrong. But what constitutes being unfaithful today? Is it looking too long at a pretty face in the street? What about a long lunch with an admirer that you don’t tell your partner about? Is it ok if you stop at just a kiss
Solve it:
Jealousy is a sure sign of poor self image: “I’m not good enough to be loved.” Rather than relying on your partner to give
you confidence, find ways of giving yourself a boost, like going to the gym or taking evening classes. Next make a list of the occasions when you feel jealous. Try to tolerate, without resentment, the incidents that cause lower levels of jealousy. Over time, your partner will notice — probably subconsciously at first — that you have relaxed and are not monitoring him or her round the clock. He or she will then be more receptive to discussing the occasions that give you real stress — like the office Christmas party or going away on business without you. So how do you start this conversation ? First point out what you’ve achieved: “I’ve not been commenting about other men or women in the street or on television.” Secondly, talk about your fears about the up-coming event and how they make you feel. Finally ask if he or she can suggest anything they’d feel comfortable doing that might help. Agreeing to phone every evening at the same time or going away the next weekend together so there’s something to look forward to. It always feels better if these things are offered rather than having to demand them. All it takes is a little effort and understanding.

4. The internet
The arguments are not just how much time is spent on the Internet — for work or pleasure — but about starting deep ‘friendships’ in cyberspace and viewing pornography. Research among 1,500 adults found that 46 per cent believed emails, texting and chatrooms had led to a big rise in infidelity; 30 per cent had used electronic communication to flirt, or to sustain an affair; 22 per cent of them had done it every day and 62 per cent had done it once a week. In the past, few men had access to porn beyond top-shelf publications and most were too embarrassed to buy them. Today’s Internet porn is more extreme: we are bombarded with adverts for it. What’s more, the technically competent woman can trace every site her man has visited.
Solve it:
These problems need to be nipped in the bud. Long hours on the computer at home are a signal that something is wrong. Don’t ignore your instincts. Ask your partner why they need to spend so much time consuming ‘virtual’ life. They could be unhappy with your relationship together and the time on the computer is really a cry for help. So what kinds of Internet friendships are acceptable? Forums with a special interest - like Startrek or dog training — are fairly harmless but be wary of friendships made on general chat sites. Pornography is a tough one because everybody has different standards. Some couples decide to share it together and incorporate some of the ideas they discover into their regular lovemaking. Some women tolerate their men occasionally indulging, but ban spending money on the accessing pornography. Whatever your viewpoint, it is important to really listen to what your partner has to say. Unless you both truly understand each other’s opinions, you will not be able to find a working compromise.

5. Money
Different spending priorities have always been difficult, but the new twist is suddenly discovering your partner has accumulated large credit card debts. Couples today are generally less willing to have joint accounts than twenty years ago and instead use complicated systems to divide bills and shuttle money between them. For example, he pays the mortgage and for the car; while she pays for groceries and utilities. These artificial divisions are prone to misunderstanding and acrimony. Today’s couples think keeping their own bank accounts will stop arguments over one of them being a spendthrift. There will still be arguments over whether they can afford the latest iPod, but the argument is blind because in these ‘together-butapart’ financial partnerships, neither knows the real state of the others’ affairs.
Solve it:
Make a list detailing the general areas in which you spend your money, like holidays, investments, luxuries, etc. Each of you should separately rank these in order of importance and share your results. Next discuss how each of your parents might have ranked the same items, and how their choices affected you as a child. Remember money is never just about money, but intertwined with security, freedom, dependency, self-esteem and power. With a clearer understanding of each other’s fears about money, you will be better placed to agree on a budget. Next discuss having a joint household account; if you can share a life together can’t you also mingle your money? A little planning in the short run will help a lot in the long run.

6. Sex
Fewer couples go to counselling today to complain about their love life. This is partly because we are more knowledgeable and
more willing to talk about what we want in bed. However, many couples are simply too tired to enjoy sex and some can’t even find the energy to worry about it. When sex is a major issue, the most common complaint is that one partner has ‘gone off it’ — leaving the other bewildered and angry.
Solve it:
Don’t fall into the ‘all or nothing’ trap of either intercourse or a cold shoulder. Keep physically intimate - even when you’re too tired — by kissing, stroking and cuddling. This is pleasurable in its own right, not just as foreplay. Of course the fondling can turn into full sexual desire, but to start with, avoid this temptation until you have established that agreeing to a cuddle doesn’t guarantee sex. In the future, when the hand sneaks over to your side of the bed you don’t have to decide immediately if you’re interested, but instead have time to be intimate together and decide whether you want hors d’oeuvres or the full meal.

7. Space
Traditionally it’s been men who’ve wanted time to themselves, but today women burdened by work and kids are asking for ‘me’ time too. However it, is much less divisive than before as this generation of fathers (under 40) are much more involved with their children.
Solve it:
Successful couples are both team-mates and individuals, so don’t feel criticised if your partner needs space. Negotiate how often you each need time alone, and for how long, so there is a balance between ‘me’ time and ‘us’ time.

8. Children
Agreeing on the basic principals of child rearing is easy; the problems are all in the details. Fewer couples have bitter fights over their kids than 20 years ago — unless they have already split — but the stress points have changed from 20 years ago. Today couples worry about issues such as what happens when the child care arrangements break down, how much freedom it is safe to give children and how their internet usage can be supervised. Parents have always argued about what is appropriate at what age, but these days everything starts younger with, for example, pre-teens wanting to dress provocatively like their pop idols Britney Spears or Bipasha Basu.
Solve it:
Never let your kids divide and rule. Set up a system that allows you and your partner to confer before giving any major decision.

9. Division of labour
Twenty years ago, there were more arguments about gender roles at home and at work. Women still undertake more housework, but most couples seem to have reached an acceptable compromise. We are also benefiting from less of the old ‘men don’t talk’ and ‘women are better with feelings’ stereotyping.
Solve it:
If you pass on responsibility for something, you also give up control. However, if your partner’s standards and time scales set your teeth on edge try swapping jobs for something less stress-inducing . For example, if you are very picky about cleaning the bathroom and feel all the grouting between the tiles should be scrubbed every week, it is unlikely that your partner’s cleaning will meet your standards. Let him be responsible for something you are less passionate about instead, for example, loading and unloading the dishwasher. Be aware that sometimes people agree to do a job to keep the peace, but really are not that keen. Instead of speaking up, they silently communicate their dissatisfaction by never getting round to finishing jobs or deliberately doing it badly — so you don’t ask again. If this sounds familiar, you will probably also be familiar with the nagging and bitterness that accompanies it. Instead try a non-confrontational approach, where you share how this makes you feel rather than criticising, which makes people defensive.

10. In-laws
Nobody likes unasked-for advice, especially when it comes from his or her parents. However, if we rely on them for child care or financial help, they probably feel that they have a right to an opinion too. Involvement from outside is less of an issue than 20 years ago, as these days, not only do people see less of their parents , but parents are also more likely to respect our privacy.
Solve it:
Make certain your partner feels you are both on the same side in any dispute with either set of parents. You might make allowances for your own parents’ ‘little ways’, but don’t expect your partner to do the same.

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The siege has ended at Taj

The siege has ended at Taj

By Mitesh   09:19   No comments:

Its been more than 57 hours now that the battle had started between the NSG commandos and the Islamic Militants which finally has come to an end. A state official says the siege has ended at Mumbai's Taj Mahal hotel and the last 3 gunmen have been killed. Over 150 people were killed and more then 300 injured when suspected Islamic militants attacked 10 sites in Mumbai.

Black-clad Indian commandoes raided two luxury hotels to try to free hostages on Thursday, and explosions and gunshots shook India's financial capital a day after the attacks.

About 10 to 12 gunmen remained holed up inside the hotels and a Jewish center, Dozens of people were being held hostage at this places.

While hostages trickled out of the hotels throughout the day, witnesses said many bodies remained inside and the two-day siege showed few signs of ending quickly. Several bodies were carried out of the five-star Taj Mahal Palace and oberio & Trident Tower hotel. According to the witnesses, attackers had specifically targeted Britons and Americans inside the hotels.

A previously unknown Islamic militant group claimed responsibility for the carnage, the latest in a series of terror attacks over the past three years that have dented India's image as an industrious nation galloping toward prosperity.

The most high-profile target was the Taj Mahal hotel, a landmark of Mumbai luxury since 1903, and a favorite watering hole of the city's elite.

At least three top Indian police officers - including the chief of the anti-terror squad - were among those killed.

An Indian media report said a previously unknown group calling itself the Deccan Mujahideen claimed responsibility for the attacks in e-mails to several media outlets. There was no way to verify that claim.

Magnus Ranstorp, a terrorism specialist with the Swedish National Defense College, said there are "very strong suspicions" that the coordinated Mumbai attacks have a link to al-Qaida. He said the fact that Britons and Americans were singled out is one indicator, along with the coordinated style of the attacks.

India's prime minister blamed "external forces."
"The well-planned and well-orchestrated attacks, probably with external linkages, were intended to create a sense of panic, by choosing high profile targets and indiscriminately killing foreigners," Singh said in address to the nation.

Among the other places attacked was the 19th century Chhatrapati Shivaji railroad station - a beautiful example of Victorian Gothic architecture - where gunmen sprayed bullets into the crowded terminal, leaving the floor splattered with blood.

Other gunmen attacked Leopold's restaurant, a landmark popular with foreigners, and the police headquarters in southern Mumbai, the area where most of the attacks took place. Gunmen also attacked Cama and Albless Hospital and G.T. Hospital.

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50 Interesting Facts

50 Interesting Facts

By Mitesh   09:18   No comments:

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.

6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11. Dalmatians are born without spots.

12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).

14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.

15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.

25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.

26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.

28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.

30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.

33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.

36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.

37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.

38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it
is smiling).

39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”

40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

42. The average person laughs 13 times a day.

43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.

46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.

47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

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Body Language !!! Think.

Body Language !!! Think.

By Mitesh   09:32   1 comment:

Always be ready and aware! You never know when the perfect opportunity might be standing there in front of you.

That's WHY understanding body language can REALLY pump up your love life! One of the most basic instances involves our personal "space." We notice that when a stranger or someone gets too close, we feel uncomfortable. Unconsciously we know the distancing from others that is appropriate for our own culture. Every day we judge our own distance and respect the space of others by avoiding getting too close and follow our "feeling" to adjust to the correct distances from friends as opposed to acquaintances or strangers.

Body language is the quiet, secret and most powerful language of all! According to experts, our non-verbal language communicates about 50% of what we really mean (voice tonality contributes 38%) while words themselves contribute a mere 7%.Our bodies send out messages constantly and often we don't recognize that we're communicating a lot more than we realize.

By familiarizing ourselves with a few basic nonverbal signals, A person's body posture, movements and positions more often tell us exactly what they mean (which may be the exact opposite of what they are saying). Many people are unaware of how loudly they communicate with their bodies.. We understand what a person indicates with their gestures and body positions and we send out our own messages - but we rarely stop to think about how we do it.

Often when a person is considered to have great intuition about other people, their understanding is actually due to careful observation of individuals, and conscious or unconscious understanding of non-verbal communication. These people can see interpret verbal and non-verbal language due to training or years of observation and analysis of people.

We need to recognize and give credibility to our own "intuition" and "feelings" about a person or situation.

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Five rules to be happy.

Five rules to be happy.

By Mitesh   09:02   1 comment:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

What the heart gives away is never gone... It is kept in the hearts of others. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risks. Secure a special place in your heart. A certain place only you can enter. For there will come a time when you need to find yourself and only your heart will show you the way.

The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again.

People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. That's why there's so much chaos in the world... people are being used and things are being loved.
You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages of life.

Every commitment is a choice. Non-choosers and half-choosers are a puzzle to themselves and to others. They live in the immature condition of wanting to "play everything by ear."

Every once in a while ask yourself the question: If money weren't a consideration, what would I like to be doing?

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend so much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, excuses.

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How to Face Life?

How to Face Life?

By Mitesh   09:43   1 comment:

This one is a nice Poem which i came across in a mail .. hope you all like it.

Expressing oneself is hard and tough,
Especially when the road of life gets rough,
One has to face bitterness but never complain,
To spread the laughters and bury the pain.

Numerous things come to make you scare.
Even not a single helping hand left there,
“You want to mourn with shouts and cries”
You have to find strength and then try.

Your laughters have been snatched, to put you down,
But you have to smile by coming out of frown,
Never give chance to regret, that’s silly,
You have power to deal, problems seems hilly.

To unfold happiness in life you have to take a start,
Try to find peace and serenity in the depth of your heart,
Life is full of colours like a blooming flower,
You will find shiny and bright rays like a star.

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Curvy women are cleverer, have brainier kids

Curvy women are cleverer, have brainier kids

By Mitesh   10:02   No comments:

Now that's some interesting Info that i came across while surfing.

London, Nov 11 (ANI): Ever wonder why men find curvaceous women more attractive? Well, that's because women with a curvy figure are brighter and give birth to brainier kids, according to a new study.

Scientists at the Universities of Pittsburgh and California, Santa Barbara, found that women with large hips and small waists are cleverer than those with either "apple-shaped" or linear bodies.

The study, to be published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, also discovered that curvaceous women give birth to more intelligent children because hip fat contains polyunsaturated fatty acids critical for the development of the fetus's brain.

The researchers believe that the results shed light on why many men find curvy women more alluring.

For the research, the team used data from a study of 16,000 women and girls, which collected details of their body measurements and their scores in cognitive tests.

They found that those women with a greater difference between the waist and hips scored considerably higher on the tests, as did their children.

The researchers say that the ideal ratio for an intelligent curvy woman lies between 0.6 and 0.7.

They suggest that the fat around fuller hips and thighs contains higher levels of omega3 fatty acids which are essential for the growth of the brain during pregnancy.

Although these theories anticipate confirmation, Paula Hall, a sexual and relationship psychologist with Relate, said: "Having research that proves you can be sexy and intelligent is really positive. It shows that curvy women may be better at things other than raising children and doing cooking and housework."

The team said that their findings may also explain why children born to teenage mothers do worse in cognitive tests - because their mothers may have had deficient stores of the best fatty acids.

"The cognitive development of their children is reduced, and their own cognitive development is impaired compared with those mothers with a later first birth," Times Online quoted the researchers, as saying.

The study noted, however, that children born to teenage girls with traditional hourglass figures seemed to be protected from this phenomenon and fared better in tests.

Several scientific studies have shown that men are "hard-wired" to find women with a greater waist-hip differential the most attractive. However, no one has yet been able to elucidate this, although theories include better fertility, better childbearing abilities and longer life expectancy.

Dr Harry Witchel, a senior lecturer in physiology at the Brighton and Sussex Medical School and a body language expert on the television programme Big Brother, said: "Until this point the only thing we have accepted is that they [curvy women] are at an advantage in contemporary western society. What these people are saying is that they also have an advantage biologically." (ANI)

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Guys,take note of this

Guys,take note of this

By Mitesh   08:53   1 comment:

If you have to open your mouth, don’t put your foot in it. Here are things you must never say to your sweetie.

Luckily, humans haven’t evolved to the point of reading each other’s thoughts yet (not that we know of, anyway). Chances are we would have wiped each other out ages ago if we could hear the unfiltered inner dialogue of our fellow men and women. Sometimes, these secret thoughts slip out in moments of brain-dead cluelessness. They can be career suicide if divulged at work and socially devastating if unleashed amongst friends, but nowhere else can they be as damaging as when they are blurted out to your girlfriend. Here are some of the most common things guys just shouldn’t say to their girlfriends.

SAY YOU SAY ME: Be supportive towards her

SHE’S HOT!
File this one under ‘E’ for ‘extremely freaking’ obvious!’ It’s natural to look, normal to admire, but just downright stupid to vocalise to your girl. Even if your girlfriend is the first to notice and comment, it’s not an invitation for you to starting panting in agreement. What it is, though, is an invitation to tell your girl how much hotter she is. She knows you admire other girls from afar, but she just doesn’t need it thrown in her face. Depending on your individual relationship, it might even be kosher to point out an attractive female from time to time. Be tactful, keep your wits about you and your unabashed gawking can continue without serious consequences.

MY EX WOULD...
Looking to immediately start a fight? Compare your current girl to your ex, whether it be favourably or otherwise. She trusts that you’ve moved on… completely. Bringing up your ex in any light brings this all into question. Telling her how your last girl would cook your favourite pasta or give you back rubs will certainly not result in a massage. It will result in her fretting away about you straying back to the meatloaf-cooking ex. And a girlfriend in that state of mind is a girlfriend ripe for fighting. You are forgetting that girls develop an instant and all-encompassing hatred for a guy’s ex-girlfriend once they begin dating. You are safest to not even bring her up, under any circumstance.

YOUR FRIEND IS A FOOL
Girls develop a special brand of loyalty usually only found in soldiers or abused dogs. So calling one of her girlfriends a fool is going to get you nowhere —even if it is true. If you want to keep things in a good way, respect her the way she respects you. If the situation continues to affect your quality of life, corner the lady and ask her point-blank what her problem is. Most of the time it will revolve around you hogging your girlfriend’s time, or a perception formed almost exclusively on your girlfriend’s commiserating with them during the rocky patches. If this girl can’t get over her hang-ups and come around to your side, it’s time to let your girlfriend know. But choose your words carefully, and do your best to avoid flat-out calling her friend a fool. It will make your argument a lot easier to win.

TOGETHERNESS IS BLISS: Think before you make a comment

I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
Girls dig confidence, and moping around whimpering statements like this will be a major turn-off. Keep your chin up and remember that you are a superstar and she is lucky to have you. Even if you don’t feel that way, acting like it will make you more like the man she wants you to be. She’ll feed your ego and breed real confidence that ultimately ends with you becoming a better person. But whining about your shortcomings will plant seeds of doubt into her head. It puts you further under the microscope and could eventually convince her that you are right — she is too good for you. Nice job, hot shot.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU WOULD…
This lame, desperate line of reasoning rarely (if ever) works. Putting conditions on her love for you is about as low as it gets. You are smart guy; you don’t stoop to this level to get what you want. Bribe her with flowers, shower her in chocolate, or just man up and ask her straight. That will get you a lot closer to what you want than trying this pathetic rationalisation.

YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER
Girls love their mothers with a touching and inspiring level of intensity —- but they also fear few things more than becoming their mothers. So letting this slip will lead to many, many problems, whether you are right or not.

I AM NOT IN THE MOOD
It’s an odd double standard that few people talk about. Women can use just about any excuse in the book to put off sex, from hair appointments to gas pains. But if a guy is too tired or just not up for a go, it rattles the very foundation of the relationship. She thinks men are sexual deviants with no off switch, and your saying no means something very sinister and deep in her mind. It’s almost better go through the motions. You can try to explain to her rationally, but all she will hear is you telling her she’s overweight, or that you already got some with the cute receptionist in the copy room.

I DON’T LIKE THAT PIECE OF CLOTHING
Women have been extremely sensitive to being controlled by their men. So loaded statements, even made off-the-cuff, can get your girl’s back up and make things really interesting. Of course, by really interesting, we mean intense, uncomfortable and completely devoid of sexual contact. If she is wearing it, she happened to like it enough to spend money on it. Making an announcement like this not only brings her tastes into question, but it also leaves you looking like a backward, unsmart man.

DON’T GET SO EMOTIONAL!
Injured cows, Oprah, sappy car commercials — it doesn’t take much to get girls crying. Most of the time, we find it beautifully endearing. But when things are a bit scrappy and the waterworks come out, it’s easy to snap at her. Don’t. She can’t control it; women are just wired differently than us non-feeling, emotionally bankrupt men. It is in your best interest to ride out the tears and eventually work things out without resorting to this clichéd response to her display of emotion.

courtesy:BT

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Why we sleep: It’s not just for that rest

Why we sleep: It’s not just for that rest

By Mitesh   09:42   No comments:

New Findings Suggest That Sleep Plays A Crucial Role In Flagging And Storing Important Memories
Benedict Carey

The task looks as simple as a “Sesame Street” exercise. Study pairs of Easter eggs on a computer screen and memorise how the computer has arranged them: the aqua egg over the rainbow one, the paisley over the coral one — and there are just six eggs in all.

Most people can study these pairs for about 20 minutes and ace a test on them, even a day later. But they’re much less accurate in choosing between two eggs that have not been directly compared: Aqua trumped rainbow but does that mean it trumps paisley? It’s hazy. It’s hazy, that is, until you sleep on it.

In a study published in May, researchers at Harvard and McGill Universities reported that participants who slept after playing this game scored significantly higher on a retest than those who did not sleep. While asleep they apparently figured out what they didn’t while awake: the structure of the simple hierarchy that linked the pairs, paisley over aqua over rainbow, and so on.

“We think what’s happening during sleep is that you open the aperture of memory and are able to see this bigger picture,” said study author, Matthew Walker, a neuroscientist who is now at the University of California, Berkeley. He added that many such insights occurred “only when you enter this wonder-world of sleep.”

Scientists have been trying to determine why people need sleep for more than 100 years. They have not learned much more than what every new parent quickly finds out: sleep loss makes you more reckless, more emotionally fragile, less able to concentrate and almost certainly more vulnerable to infection. They know, too, that some people get by on as few as three hours a night, even less, and that there are hearty souls who have stayed up for more than week without significant health problems.

Now, a small group of neuroscientists is arguing that at least one vital function of sleep is bound up with learning and memory. A cascade of new findings, in animals and humans, suggest that sleep plays a critical role in flagging and storing important memories, both intellectual and physical, and perhaps in seeing subtle connections that were invisible during waking — a new way to solve a math or Easter egg problem, even an unseen pattern causing stress in a marriage.

The theory is controversial, and some scientists insist that it’s still far from clear whether the sleeping brain can do anything with memories that the waking brain doesn’t also do, in moments of quiet contemplation.

Yet the new research underscores a vast transformation in the way scientists have come to understand the sleeping brain. Once seen as a blank screen, a metaphor for death, it has emerged as an active, purposeful machine, a secretive intelligence that comes out at night to play — and to work — during periods of dreaming and during the netherworld chasms known as deep sleep.

“To do science you have to have an idea, and for years no one had one; they saw sleep as nothing but an annihilation of consciousness,” said Dr J Allan Hobson, a psychiatry professor at Harvard. “Now we know different, and we’ve got some very good ideas about what’s going on.” NYT NEWS SERVICE

Some neuroscientists say that at least one vital function of sleep is tied to learning and memory

courtesy:TOI

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